The Part Time con

 The part-time trap

The funny thing is, without us having babies, the human race would go extinct pretty damn quickly. And the planet would be overrun with rats and wasps and cockroaches. So why is it that our society makes it so hard, almost prohibitive, for women have children? I feel like I have been punished for having a child, and I am continuing to pay the price. 

When I got pregnant, I really wasn't thinking about my career. I naively believed that I would waltz back into my role as a class teacher after my maternity leave had ended. What I couldn't have been prepared for was the scrabbling, panicked uphill struggle I faced trying to secure part time work when I went back. It was as if the governors and my head teacher saw me coming from afar, and as I approached, holding a newborn baby, they meticulously laid out an all but impossible obstacle course for me to navigate.

No, they said, after months of waiting for their reply. There are no part time jobs here for you. But, I said, what about the other 6 teachers who are part time at the school? Sorry, they said. We can't have any more part time teachers here. I appealed my case in an online interview, which was a disaster and ended up with me crying during my closing statement. I love this school I said. I've been here for 8 years, given my blood and my sweat and my all to it. I took the music program from nothing to thriving. Is there no place for me? Three weeks later I received the reply. No. No jobs here for you.

My head teacher did talk to me the day afterwards and gave me a part time teaching assistant job for a year. This was a bittersweet experience, because I knew I would be leaving at the end of the year, and I was being told what to do by teachers who had once been my colleagues, but it gave me some financial security. I had my fourth miscarriage during this year, and I had to take some time off for stress and anxiety which culminated in me going on antidepressant medication. All in all, it wasn't a great year. 

I'll just apply for jobs and see what's out there, I thought, still hanging onto that hopeful positive part of me that believed everything would work out. Surely there must be a part time teaching job available for me somewhere. It turns out that part time teaching work is like gold dust. I applied for a few jobs and got some interviews, and finally secured a job at a small village school close to my house. 

Part time, it turns out, is anything but part time. Firstly,  you are working two jobs; one at the school and one when you come home to your stroppy and demanding (but utterly scrumptious and hilarious) three-nager. Secondly, you have so much work to do outside of school hours that you work when your little bean is napping, after she's gone to bed at night, and all through the weekend, just to keep your head above water. (I barely had the energy to drink copious amounts of alcohol on Friday nights! But, you'll be relieved to know, I did manage it.) Thirdly, the amount of time that you spend liaising with and connecting with your partner teacher and trying to pick up where she left off or trying to make sure that she picks up where you left off is significant. I had no work life balance, I had no mental, emotional or physical energy left for my family - the most important party in this scenario, and on top of it all, I had the most badly behaved and disrespectful class I have ever taught, and my head teacher discouraged the behaviour system that I tried to implement into the class. I was exhausted, panicked, and miserable. I dreaded coming into work every day and more days than not I would leave in floods of tears, at 7:30 pm when I got kicked out by the very sweet but tired caretaker. One Sunday I vomited throughout the night with the stress of it all and didn't come in on Monday. (No alcohol was involved.) I started the job in January, and by May I had resigned. I worked until the end of the year, thinking that if I knew I was leaving, I would be less stressed. I was not less stressed, in fact it got worse, as did the behaviour of the children. 

One of my best friends and I worked with a colleague at another school who we thought was lazy and immature and blamed everyone else for her screwups. We named her Proper Twat, or PT for code. I feel the same about Part Time working.

I am not suggesting that new mothers or fathers don't take part time work, I feel that it is a great solution in the right situation. But for me, the combination of unceremoniously getting shown the door at a school that I had worked tirelessly at for many years, being given a job that I didn't want to do and was overqualified for, and then having to work at the only school who would give me a job which turned out to be the wrong school for me, was a recipe for a challenging few years.

Look, I know this is nothing new. I am aware that 50% of all women in the UK are denied flexible working hours after coming back from maternity leave. I don't for a moment think I am anything but a statistic. But I just feel like I am floundering in a sea of uncertainty, which leads to a lot of worry and stress. I feel like I could just use some good news now. 

Rant over. I feel a bit better having written this. 

Thanks for reading x