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This is wonderful. 

I am sitting at my table, with my coffee, (kept company by many tiny fruit flies) doing some work, while my wonderful husband keeps my little Pickle busy at the playground, and I have, for the first time in many, many, MANY months, been able to have some time to just breathe, in my own space, in my own house, by myself. Just to breathe. I went on a run this morning (I have been running every day this and last week, feels great) and then I got back, expecting to be met by the usual chaos and noise, and there was nothing. Just....peace. Ahhhhhhh. I feel very, very lucky.

Last night, we had a dance party. Friday nights are now going to be our dance parties, I have decided. Even if it's just two or three songs. Pickle loves it SO much and it's a great way to connect. Then my husband and I collapsed on the couch after dinner, and Pickle just played. By herself. For ages. Up to half an hour she played. It was so unusual, so unexpected, and so desperately needed for both of us. She played next to us, while we sat in our respective puddles of exhaustion and watched her, listening to music, holding hands. It really was dreamy. 

Then at 9:30 (way way WAY past my bedtime) we all trundled into bed, and Pickle could not stop telling us how much she loved us. She kept hugging us both and saying "come into our family daddy!" and "I love you both SO SO SO much!" while stroking our faces, until finally she fell asleep cuddled in my arms, saturated in love. My husband wondered aloud if we had all taken some sort of loved up mind altering drug tonight. It was a perfect evening with a perfect little sweetie. I said to my husband, as we were all falling asleep, "This makes it all worth it". He agreed.

This morning, I was so grateful and happy that I said a prayer aloud with Pippa to thank God for all the undeserved, wonderful things we have in our lives. Mainly her. 

Thanks for reading x

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