This mum does NOT run...yet

 

                                            Is it a mum thing?

                       

I love my daughter. I love being a mummy. I really, really do. I don't want to sound like I'm complaining in these posts. I guess the point of them is to let some stuff out, vent a little, and for anyone who reads them to think "Ahhh! so I'm not the only one! That is such a relief!" because I know that through reading millions of mummy blogs and mums forums and facebook mama groups, knowing that I am not the only one gives me a lot of encouragement and hope. 

A little like Sean Lock (RIP you genius) can identify what traumatic events he has been through by differentiating his forehead worry lines, I realised that I can tell the last time I had a shower by the length of my leg hair. More often than not, it's too long, which tells me that I need to have a shower pretty soon. I'm sure it can wait until tomorrow though. 

At the risk of alienating nearly every mum who reads this, my 2 year old daughter sleeps quite well, relatively. She sleeps at night, and she naps in the day, when she's not ill. Why, then, am I constantly tired? This is a genuine question. I do some exercise (kind of) regularly, and I eat lots of fresh fruits and veggies, I take Pickle out every day to some place or event or park or just for a walk, as I find that staying home with her is so, so much more exhausting than going out, but when it comes to sitting down for a while, I am utterly worn out. It's that holistic exhaustion that completely overwhelms you, where your body just shuts down and your eyes go all bleary. With this often comes a sense of  glumness, which I try and fight by cleaning, because at least if your house is clean, you can't feel bad about your house being dirty on top of everything else. I'm often too tired to clean though and end up just emptying the dishwasher and then collapsing even though I have billions and billions and billions and billions of things to do. 

                                               

This brings me to the problem of exercise. Since having Pickle, two years ago, I've watched all of my other mum friends slinkily shedding the baby weight like sexy snakes within a few months of birth and they all look thinner and fitter and more fantastically fabulous than they did before.                                                     

Totally Random Fact: Did you know that Water Bears, otherwise known as Tardigrades, do this too? They shed their "skin" as they get older because it doesn't grow with their body's growth. Look them up they are AMAZING and unbelievably cute.

Two years down the line, I'm heavier than I've ever been and I'm working really hard to try and lose this weight, but much like the drinking, I start a course of exercise and cannot seem to stick with it for more than a few weeks, and when Pickle naps, or when she's down for the night, I am so tired that I can't even read a book, let alone exercise. Most of my facebook is full of ads for programs that help get you movin and groovin, or lose that belly fat, or become a mum muscle superstar. I am aware that to lose weight you must diet and exercise, and I am also aware that I am essentially unable to stick to either. I am famous in my house for being a master procrastinator and starting things and never finishing them. But I read so many different articles about exercise and look at these programs and in my head, I WILL be that person....one day. My dream at the moment is to become the kind of person who is addicted to running.  The person in that picture below? That's future me.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                    

I love having a good excuse not to exercise. Today, for instance, my foot is so sore from me scratching it in the middle of the night that I can hardly walk, let alone go for a run. That's a great excuse. I could do pushups or yoga or situps or literally anything. But I choose to focus on the fact that I can't go for a run or do zumba, so I'm out of action for today. This happens to me so often these days that I just atrophy. 

I'd love to know if any of the other mums or dads out there have the same problem. Is it a mum thing, or is it a me thing? Or a bit of both? How and where and when do you exercise? And how do you get the stamina and the drive and the determination to do it? It would be good to know if I am not the only mum who feels this way.

Right. I'm off to have a shower. My leg hair is calling.

                                                            

Thanks for reading x