Yet another blogging mummy

 On the worst day, it was the last day. If that seems like a Dickensian or Biblical beginning, this story does lend itself to something miraculous.  It truly was the best of times, and the worst of times, although I did not know it at the time. The day that I decided that I physically and emotionally could not take "it" anymore, whatever it was (some kind of existential matter I expect) was the day that "it" seemed to rear its head for the last time and then subside.  The screaming was so loud that all 4 of our ears rang. They literally rang for hours afterwards. We both had to take post screaming pills.  The resistance was strong, the fighting raged, and the whining never ceased. I had forgotten what peace, and sleep looked or felt like in our house. And I was desperate. Caterpillars, as you know, spend 14 days inside a little chrysallis they have made around themselves. Their bodies and brains are broken down whilst inside, and then reformed to create the body and...

Oh. My. Goodness. This summer has been a completely new experience for me. I absolutely do feel like I just want to lie down all day, all the time. I almost don't know what to write, I'm so tired.  I thought summers were supposed to be fun, casual, carefree? Not a bit of it. With small kids? Summers are ridiculous.  Summer is full of boundaries pushed until they fall over, crafts that never get started or if they get started never get finished, of unreal expectations, endless lost shoes, (to be fair that's every day of the year with kids) sticky fingers, toes, noses, chins, screaming through the "sun scream" application, (both of you), hours packing stuff for the beach and then hours, and, let's face it, usually days to unpack the wet, sandy, dirty clothes, banana peels discovered in the bottom of bags days after the trip, empty juice boxes, daily ice cream demands, fights with wasps, and the complete and total defiance when you ask anything at all to be done,...

 When I was in therapy for losing 4 unborn babies in a row and after I was blessed with my miracle baby, I was talking about how guilty I feel for being completely and utterly in love with my child but also being totally and relentlessly exhausted because of my child. The therapist very wisely said "Is it so inconceivable that the thing that you love most in the world makes you the most tired that you've ever been in your life? I thought that was a very sensible thing to say, and I dropped my feeling of guilt right there and then. About that at least.  What I did not know then, is that the level of tiredness I felt from my child then was laughable compared to what it is now. Maybe I am just a tired person, or maybe my child has the energy and brightness of a thousand suns. A few nights ago, I had a dream that I was in heaven. I was still on the earth and could walk amongst people, but I could walk on the water above their heads and the people could not see me. All I remember i...

 Last night, after I worked, then picked up Pickle from school, then bought milk at the supermarket, I came into the house, dropped my stuff, and said to my husband "I have to lie down". I went into my room, closed the door, lay down, and watched a Swedish crime drama on Netflix.  About half an hour later, I heard my Pickle call from the other room "Mummy!" I said "No." She said "Why?" and that was the entirety of the conversation. During the night, I slept at 9:30, when she did, after an hour of trying to get her off to sleep. She woke up at 3 am, at which point I went with her to the loo (nightly occurrence, I literally cannot wait until she can do this by herself) then after this she needed water, and she went back to sleep, I did not. I couldn't sleep until 6. Nights are not good. Generally she wakes me up 2-3 times a night.  The other night, she woke up, realised that I was right smack dab in the middle of the deepest part of my REM cycl...

Recently, we had a friend over for a play date. In the past, this child has been challenging, to put it mildly. We have been avoiding playdates with her for a long time, as they unerringly ended in tears from my child soon after they had started, and apart from the reality that I don't like to see her in tears as a result of the bullying words of another, it was also never worth the stress of mediation between the two children that it inevitably caused.  Today, I found the girl a different child completely. She seemed to have grown up and learned how to play with other children. It was quite lovely having her over, and I found her to be the sensible one, teaching my daughter rather than making her feel inadequate, taunting her, and pushing her around.  An aside: The past few times she has visited, I have set very, very clear, firm rules, and I have told her that if she breaks these rules, she will go home immediately. For some reason, it seemed to work. I have never been firm ...

The funniest thing in my day by far these days, is when my five year old has to have a poo. She still has to have me or daddy right next to her when she goes, and the process goes a little like this; Usually at suppertime, and generally when we have only just persuaded her to have her first bite after much cajoling, bribing, using play and imagination (as each and every instagram video seems to suggest is the only way to do it) and then having failed at all these tactics and resorting to blackmail, threats and lies, she slips off her chair and chirrups in a slightly panicky voice "Mummy mummy mummy I needapoo I needapoo I needaPOO!!!!" as she waddles with haste to the bathroom, holding her bum with both hands, having left it almost too late as always.  My husband and I exchange glances and within a millisecond decide silently between us who will go using a lightening speed tally of who is the most tired, who has worked the most today, who has just been playing with her for th...

First off - I've been sober for ... 100 days! Because this is my blog, and because in my blogs I am always (mostly) honest, I have to say that there were 2 days that I had a glass or two of wine.  Both times I regretted it sorely, both immediately after I'd had the drink and most importantly, in the morning and all the way through the next day. I see this as only a good thing. I feel great. I am exercising again, yoga and running, I am eating less, I have lost weight. There is no way I want to go back to the way I wuz.  I have decided this blog is going to take a new direction, one with a combined focus. My hope is that it will fuse my thoughts on raising a spirited child, and the complexities and challenges of motherhood, with  my work. I find working with children solely through music to be fascinating, and my learning curve is sometimes very steep. My work is inextricably connected with my own life, not only because I teach children who are of a very similar age to my ...