The poo drama

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The funniest thing in my day by far these days, is when my five year old has to have a poo. She still has to have me or daddy right next to her when she goes, and the process goes a little like this;

Usually at suppertime, and generally when we have only just persuaded her to have her first bite after much cajoling, bribing, using play and imagination (as each and every instagram video seems to suggest is the only way to do it) and then having failed at all these tactics and resorting to blackmail, threats and lies, she slips off her chair and chirrups in a slightly panicky voice "Mummy mummy mummy I needapoo I needapoo I needaPOO!!!!" as she waddles with haste to the bathroom, holding her bum with both hands, having left it almost too late as always. 

My husband and I exchange glances and within a millisecond decide silently between us who will go using a lightening speed tally of who is the most tired, who has worked the most today, who has just been playing with her for the past three hours, who has made dinner, and who absolutely 100 % cannot deal with it right now. 

When I get to the bathroom, I sit on a stool right next to her, and she sits on the toilet, leans towards me slightly, and then looks right into the depths of my soul as her face reddens with effort, she starts grunting softly, and her eyes glaze over. "I'm doing it" she whispers dramatically, "I'm actually doing it" and a moment later, a delighted, victorious smile lights up her face, her whole demeanour relaxes with relief and she breathes "I did it" with all the contented exhaustion of one finishing up a triathlon. First prize my little angel. Generally, we have to shout into the living room, "Daddy! I did a POO!" which, gratifyingly, elicits celebratory whoops from an exhausted Daddy.

It makes me laugh every time. Long may the victorious pooing continue!

Thanks for reading x

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