Mummy, you're not on MY team!

Recently, we had a friend over for a play date. In the past, this child has been challenging, to put it mildly. We have been avoiding playdates with her for a long time, as they unerringly ended in tears from my child soon after they had started, and apart from the reality that I don't like to see her in tears as a result of the bullying words of another, it was also never worth the stress of mediation between the two children that it inevitably caused. 

Today, I found the girl a different child completely. She seemed to have grown up and learned how to play with other children. It was quite lovely having her over, and I found her to be the sensible one, teaching my daughter rather than making her feel inadequate, taunting her, and pushing her around. 

An aside: The past few times she has visited, I have set very, very clear, firm rules, and I have told her that if she breaks these rules, she will go home immediately. For some reason, it seemed to work. I have never been firm or stern with a friend of my daughter's like this. But after the last time she was here and I found toothpaste smeared up and down the bathroom mirrors and doors, the sinks full of water with expensive pairs of my husband's glasses thrown into them, and things hidden in places that could have only been accessed by climbing up shelves and dangerous places, I had to set some very strict rules. 

At one point during the playdate, my daughter was displaying some heavy attention getting behaviour, whining a lot, being dissatisfied with everything presented to her, and crying when I did not give her exactly what she wanted or when her friend did not instantly give into her passionate and persuasive methods to get her own way. 

As always when her friends are over, I was making sure to be fair in my responses, and I tried to tell Pickle when her behaviour seemed to be slightly over the top, taking into account how dramatically she reacts to certain situations especially when her emotions are heightened by the excitement of having a friend over. Unfortunately, she did not respond favourably to my comments, and at one point, she just threw everything on the floor, and took herself off to her bedroom. I went in after her to try and help, found her on the bed with her blanket up as almost a shield, and then she looked right at me and said through tears, "Mummy! You're not on my TEAM!" My mouth almost fell open, as yet again, this little firefly had said something that flew straight into my heart like some kind of dagger. I said to her "Sweetie, I AM on your team!" and she came back with "My HEART feels like you're NOT on my team!" 

Cannot. Argue. With. That.

I vowed, through cuddles and assurances, that I would never again, not be on her team. 

Thanks for reading x